This autoethnography, structured as a short story, traces my journey from childhood to my current role as a female researcher exploring the subversive possibilities of bisexuality in an urban Indian context as part of my doctoral research. My early beliefs were shaped by the social norms of my convent education, a Catholic upbringing and community, each reinforcing a rigid understanding of morality, relationships and sexuality. Through ethnography, I navigate between personal experiences and academic inquiry, encountering unresolved questions and contradictions that challenged these foundational beliefs. This short story highlights the complexities of living within structures that impose normative ideals, social expectations and moral standards, as well as the realities of everyday deviations. It further interrogates the essence of morality while positioning myself as a woman in society and reflecting on how my socialisation and lived experiences influenced my moral reasoning. By situating my personal journey within broader sociocultural contexts, this narrative ultimately questions the hegemonic patriarchal heteronormative and homonormative structures based on monogamy and monosexuality, offering a critical lens on how sexuality is constructed and negotiated in contemporary society.
Marian Dias (Wed,) studied this question.