I explore the following broad themes from Scheffler’s One Life to Lead (OLL). First, Scheffler emphasizes that what we need to be focused on is the loving relationship itself and not just the object of the relationship, the friend or lover. I contrast loving relationships with a brother or sister with those with a friend. What should we think are the principal sources of value in a loving relationship? And how does the answer to that question connect with the commitment Scheffler has, that valuing is directed at the relationship rather than the object of love? In the second part, I set the answers to these questions in the context of how grief and end of days are envisaged in OLL. What happens when joint participation is no longer possible, when people are no longer able to engage? I close by asking how attractive we could find that picture.
Véronique Munoz-Dardé (Mon,) studied this question.