Decoding the Girl Code: Exploring the Unwritten Norms in Female Adolescent Friendships

The girl code refers to a set of unspoken social rules that shape how adolescent girls form, maintain, and navigate close female friendships. These unwritten norms influence how they provide support, handle emotional challenges, and navigate moral decisions. Despite its significant impact on female adolescent relationships, research on the girl code, especially within the Philippine context, remains limited. This qualitative exploratory study examines how the girl code operates among cisgender Filipino adolescent girls, focusing on its key aspects, underlying values, development, enforcement, and consequences. Five focus group discussions (FGDs) were conducted among close-knit female friendship groups of senior high school students aged 17 to 18 from a private university in Manila. Thematic analysis revealed that the girl code includes shared and implicit rules. These rules involve respecting romantic and emotional boundaries, maintaining trust and confidentiality, providing emotional support and inclusion, and resolving issues through open and sensitive communication. While these norms are not explicitly taught, they develop through shared experiences and repeated interactions. They are rooted in mutual values of respect, compassion, loyalty, and trust. Additionally, honest communication, group inclusion, and restorative dialogue enforce commitment to these codes. Following the girl code can strengthen female friendships and promote emotional well-being, while violations often lead to conflict, emotional distress, and possible alienation from the group. Overall, the girl code serves as an important moral guide in the context of friendships among adolescent girls. It helps them manage the complexities of connection, conflict, and security within their social circles.