A compassionate journey exploring mental health disability in academia through autoethnography and a/r/tography

The purpose of this dissertation is to investigate mental health disability in higher education using the methodologies of a/r/tography and autoethnography. By engaging with my personal narratives and art-based expressions, this study aims to contribute to a deeper understanding of the experiences of individuals with mental health challenges in academic settings. Additionally, it seeks to shed light on the potentials of self-disclosure. Drawing on Caroline Ellis’ philosophies of autoethnographic writing the study will navigate the complexities of ongoing participant consent, pseudonym use, and narrative transformation. Additionally, insights from Karen Lee’s emotive autoethnographic writing will inform the exploration of personal experiences of mental health challenges. A/r/tographic methods will be utilized to complement narrative accounts and provide alternative modes of expression. My writing unfolds in a rhizomatic manner, following a nonlinear progression, concepts introduced in one chapter also grow and flourish in another. Chapters delve into various facets of mental health disability exploring the key themes of stigma and resilience. Each chapter weaves together poetry from my past journals, autoethnographic narratives, art-based expressions, and/or theoretical insights from a/r/tography, disability studies, Mad studies. Creating a rich tapestry of understanding that honours the complexities of lived experiences while contributing to scholarly discourse and fostering community resilience. Over the course of this research, I addressed stigma and resilience and learned that simple things we do each day can add to our resilience; and, that the lived experience of stigma from external experiences can build up over time to become an unconscious self-imposed barrier, or self-stigma, which we can consciously disrupt.